Turkey + Curry = FAIL

Do you know long it's been since I've had a piece of cheese? TOO long because I don't know either.

My last check up with my new "team" (nurse practitioner & nutritionist bio-meridian lady) was great. Dan was there and everything they said made sense to him but was still pretty over my head. He understands why I can't eat chicken and other foods with some kind aracadonic acid (who knows how that is spelled!) but to me it's just still over my head.

I think I understand this much: inflammation in the body is bad and causes disease and I have a lot of inflammation in my body which is bad.

She explained the xeno-estrogen-toxicity to me again and Dan understood that too. I really don't understand everything they are trying to fix but I do know I have made TONS of progress by following their protocol.

My lymph system is still working to clean me out and my nervous system is still in the danger zone but everything else was looking better. She told me I still need to slow down, do less, and just work on being content instead of trying so hard to fix everything RIGHT NOW.

I guess stress is hard on the body? who knew!

She told me not to get crazy and that I really don't have to wash my hair with homemade shampoo (I took her literally I guess!) She just warned me about all the products that we use everyday that could be contributing to the xeno-estrogen toxicity and not to go crazy about it.

As of earlier this week I was down 5 pounds which is awesome for me. I am not feeling a huge amount of weight loss and still feel like my body is getting rid of inflammation and toxins.

I am really tired of eating this way now. I didn't realize how hard it would be to cut out so many foods! It's just really hard to cook. Sometimes the foods I can eat sound so unappealing that I would rather starve. Dan just reminds me that the food is my medicine and in the end I'll be glad I "suffered" through it.

I've thrown so much food away because it ends up being disgusting. I've decided if I were Asian I would be a pro! I would know how to cook tofu, cabbage, broccoli, peppers, and onions and make it taste good.

Tonight I threw away our whole dinner because it was just gross. I tried to make a turkey coconut milk curry over brown rice and it was a giant fail. I ended up having strawberries, cinnamon, soymilk, and brown rice for dinner.

If anyone has really good Asian or Thai recipes that don't call for chicken, red meat, cashews, tuna, eggs, dairy, sugar, or too much MSG let me know! I'm getting desperate.

All in all I am feeling more calm and rational. I don't feel like I have to run a million miles an hour. She gave me this SWEET stuff called cerebromax that is a homeopathic anti-anxiety mixture and I think I'm in love!

She kept asking if I felt anxious and I was like "NO! I'm fine!" Then she gave me the cerebromax and within 10 minutes I couldn't believe how calm a person could actually feel and how anxious I have been my whole life.

I didn't feel the need to plan out the next 3 years of my life every second of the day, or have my mind run a million miles a minute. I think I finally feel what it's like to be content.

I've noticed that the more calm and content I feel, the less I want to munch and snack. Even though I'm totally bored and annoyed with the foods I can still eat, I'm not to the point of wanting to punch someone's face out because I can't have a piece of cheese. I'm almost there...but not quite.

I've been at this for about 3 weeks and have consumed my weight in legumes and spinach. I'm ready to start exercising again in moderation and am finding peace with the fact that before I can focus on weight loss, I have other things that need to get healthy and functioning first.

oh yeah, and I'm STILL waiting to hear the results of my latest blood test.