Doctor's Orders

I am very excited to announce that I am following my doctor's orders. I gave this decision more thought than you might assume, so do not freak out when I tell you that I am signing up for a prepared meal plan. This decision was reached after a lot of conversations with lots of trusted people and lots of conversations with my #1, Dan. After my doctor's visit yesterday it is clear that I have a very very stubborn and picky body. I do not have the luxury of losing weight based on calories in calories out. If that were the case, according to myfitness pal, I would have lost well over 25 pounds by now. Well I have not lost 25 pounds, in fact, I have gained 16 since following my endocrinologists advice- exercise 1 hour a day and eat 1500-1800 calories, and my calories are typically right around 1400-1500. I even kicked my calories up the last couple weeks after fearing I was in starvation mode. I do have to say that after my monthly visit I was down 1 pound for the first time in about 3 months which was pretty awesome. I celebrate that 1 pound but it is not enough. In the back of my head I still wonder if my thyroid is FINALLY stabilized like my blood work shows and I will start "dropping weight like crazy" (words of people who say once I get my medication in check I'll start losing!) Well that time frame has come and gone and I have not started to lose like crazy but I am GETTING CRAZY.

I have tackled so many of my bad habits or at least feel like I have them under control. I have so much less of a desire to eat to the point of fullness and that is a huge accomplishment for me. I still have my moments and I always will, but the homework assignments I've been doing have taught me so much about myself and about food. I know that what I'm about to embark on is a means to an end that is not recommended by dieticians but it was recommended by the best endocrinologist in Utah County and someone who has decades of experience with these issues so even though I'm going against one philosophy, I'm taking control of my life and my weight and embarking on a journey that I never thought I would even consider, and you know what? I am really excited. The most exciting thing about the program I am trying this month is that there is no guess work. Since my meals are already prepared, that means I don't have to count calories or carbs or fat. I just have to eat. This might be interesting for a foodie like me but I don't care. I can't stay this weight. I can't quit. I can't try a program that I hope works with my body. I have tried all that before and for some reason that I can't explain, I never got the balance right. I never figured out the perfect balance of calories, fat, carbs, protein and exercise that kicked my body into weight loss. I emphasize that I AM NOT TYPICAL. I am an unusual case. I strongly believe that most people have the ability to lose weight with diet and exercise. I know that if I continued playing with my personal "balance" I would have found it but I am tired of trying, tired of crying about it, tired of buying bigger clothes, tired of avoiding pictures, tired of beating myself up, tired of the whole mystery, so I am following my doctor's orders.

Since I have a trusted friend who has gone through something so similar that it's scary, I am following the program that she follows that left her 37 pounds lighter in 90 days. Don't freak out. You can lose up to 2.5 pounds a week and be considered losing weight at a "healthy" rate. By this standard, a person could reasonably lose 30 pounds in 3 months, so she lost a little more than is considered "textbook" healthy. I have asked a lot of important questions before committing to this program and feel that I have enough information to appease the skeptic in me which says a lot. I am diving in head first and hope that I can be successful on this program. My doctor told me this is her first suggestion and I'm taking her advice. On the show "Ruby," she eats pre-prepared meals for over a year because her doctor didn't want her to have to worry about her food and cooking and messing up and she was really successful and eventually graduated into cooking all her own meals and that's exactly what I'll end up doing as well. I will eventually graduate from this program and will not have to stay on it for the rest of my life, but there is a maintenance program I will follow once I lose my desired amount of weight. There has to be a light at the end of my tunnel and I hope this is it. We'll see! I have chosen not to reveal the name of this program on this blog just yet until I can post my success because I don't want to draw judgement or criticism on this blog because this blog is for me and my place to vent and journal. I will reveal the name of this program later but know that it is frequently the meal plan of choice in hospitals when patients need to lose weight. It is real food that is perfectly balanced and I can't wait to try it. I guess I have a few days to eat all my frozen strawberries before it arrives!