I did it. I DID IT! I pulled myself off the edge of the cliff. Last Thursday was one of the most stressful but exciting days I've had in a very long time. Dan and I could hardly sleep. We put an offer on my dream house and it was accepted and the inspection was awesome, so fingers crossed, we'll be moving in a month!
More about that with pictures on our family blog
With all the stress, emotions, anxiety, and excitement, I was on the edge of having a full food meltdown. I was ready to bake cookies (thank heavens we were out of EGG and BROWN SUGAR!!!) eat pizza, and eat carbs like I was going to die the next day.
I pulled myself together on Sunday and reminded myself that food is not the answer to my problems. Behaviors like that lead me to disappointment, discouragement, and guilt. It's not worth it!
I went to yoga on Sunday morning, just like I always do, and meditated about the joy I've been feeling lately. I feel so alive, vibrant, and powerful. I don't need the binge eating anymore. I really don't! I have such abundance in my life and I don't want to cloud that with useless feelings of self-hatred.
When that stupid alarm clock went off at 5:15 AM Monday morning, I pulled myself out of bed and went to the gym and attacked those stupid weights and put all my anxiety into my workout. I did the same thing this morning in spinning and boy oh boy was I a sweating machine!
I pulled all the lonely produce out of our fridge on Sunday and made a menu that centered around vegetables and whole foods. Instead of cookies, I made whole wheat/oatmeal banana muffins with little mini chocolate chips (Recipe found here- I didn't add nuts or dried fruit). I've had that recipe for YEARS and they make the most hearty, moist, delicious muffins that satisfy any sweet tooth.
I'm not giving up. I may not be losing a lot of weight, but I'm continuing to shrink a little each month. I'm maintaining a healthy lifestyle the way that I've been fantasizing about for years!
I love how friendly and encouraging people at my gym are. I started spinning Tues/Thurs mornings at 5:45 AM and these 2 older guys were cheering me on, told me to keep coming, and every time I've gone they have given me a high-5 and told me to keep coming. It makes all the difference to me.
Here's to another great week of respecting my body and my needs despite the overwhelming amount of anxiety I am feeling right now!
A daily journey and journal for 1 year documenting my baby steps, my leaps, my backtracking, my progress and the struggle to reclaim my health.
Stephanie, I Love your house. Good luck with that:). And I admire you a lot. You are very self aware of the times you want to emotional eat and you are great about directing your thoughts elsewhere. I need more of that...as I emotional eat a lot!
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