Check in

I'm trying really hard to be more positive about my weight issues and sometimes I succeed and other times I fail.

Here's a recap on how Weight Watchers is working for me. At the end of my first 3 weeks I was down 2.5 pounds. I was really happy. I remember the first time I did Weight Watchers, I lost about 4 pounds a month. It seemed that all the times I've done weight watchers, I have a MAGIC week. The magic week happened once a month. I always lost a lot of weight one week a month and then nothing significant for the rest of the month. I was really hoping week four would be my MAGIC week.

I decided to keep up my workout routine and try to not go over my points for the day. I also got rid of all my Easter candy at work to see if I could continue losing for the 4th week.

Gaining 4.5 pounds was not what I had in mind for my fourth week weigh in. Where's the magic in that?

I have been getting up at 5:30 AM to do my p90x2 DVD's about 4-5 days a week. I am feeling sore everyday and feeling like I'm making a good effort.

I have a few habits that I would like to work on:

1.I spend $.25 everyday after lunch at the candy machine and maybe this is holding me back.

2. I usually have one meal where I over-induldge. Last week it was Easter dinner. This past weekend it was thai food with Dan. Maybe I can only have one every other week?

3. Maybe I need to drink more water everyday and take a short walk at night or do something physical at night to keep things moving?

Who knows. I'm not sure where the 4.5 pounds came from but maybe I'll have an awesome menses and it will disappear next week. Yeah, I just said awesome menses.

I can't wait for summer to get here already because these DVD's are getting old!

I just love going for a walk and even a jog (I hate the first 10 jogs but after that I feel unstoppable). I love riding my road bike. I love mountain biking. I love hiking.

These are all things I plan to do a lot of this summer. My cousin Kari said she wanted to get in shape to hike Table Rock with me and that is another goal of mine.

Instead of hating my body, I'm trying to accept that my body is not in a perfected state yet and as long as I'm doing my part (exercising, eating nutritiously, and not punishing my body with starvation, over-exercise, or binging,) Then the Lord really will bless me to do the things that are most important in life. I am richly blessed and have felt strength from my Heavenly Father this week to continue what I'm doing.

I am starting to look at my situation as something that may not be corrected in this lifetime. I don't think it's too soon to say that I definitely have a stubborn body with some mysterious issues and so far there isn't a whole lot of hope in sight.

Trust me though, I have a WHOLE rant I want to write about being overweight when you feel like you didn't "earn" all the extra pounds...but alas, I've written enough of those. And if history repeats itself, another one will come in about 6.3 weeks.

On one last note, I'm also starting counseling this week and one thing I really want to address is my lack of unconditional love for myself. I am also planning to attend my church's addiction recovery program during the summer. My schedule hasn't permitted me to attend the meetings yet, but I think it will be an important thing for me to address at some point.

Happy health wishes to you all!