I'm smiling today.

I can't say that I'm a new woman or a changed person this morning, but it always help to purge all my emotions into this journal and last night's purging was really good for me.

I have felt so powerless and hopeless for the past month. I don't blog about one specific thing and sometimes I'm excited about something one week and completely disappointed about it two weeks later. If you've been a reader, you've watched me try so many different "diets" and ways of eating- from medifast, to clean eating, to paleo, to calorie counting, and everything else under the sun.

It's exhausting. This battle is completely exhausting and tiring for me.

I decided about a month ago that I wanted to reactivate my weight watchers account just to have access to a wonderful database full of recipes, motivation, support groups, tracking tools, and structure. The last time I did weight watchers, I hadn't been diagnosed with Hashimoto's and I just gained weight.

The first time I did weight watchers, I got to my lowest weight ever, 148. I have not had the same success on weight watchers ever again, but the program has never left a bad taste in my mouth. I've never walked away thinking it was an extreme diet. I've never felt like I had to sell a kidney to afford it. I've never really had anything negative to say about the program.

I like that the program has been made over so many times. From the time I started back in 2005 until now, it is a lot different. My qualm with it the first time around was that I felt like I went from eating a very healthy, whole foods type of diet to eating fat free deli meat, diet bread, fat free pringles, and fat free twinkies.

Now that the program has been through multiple revisions, it's more in line with what I believe in. There is a focus on super foods, whole foods, and foods that grow from the earth, all with an allowance for indulgences once in awhile.

I reactivated my account this morning and I'm really glad I did. It's just an awesome place to find healthy recipes for free and be able to have so many tools and articles and inspiration.

It really made me feel better to find other people who struggle to lose weight with thyroid and hashimoto issues. It inspired me to read people's success stories. It was awesome to find a recipe for a kale and vegetable soup.

I'm just glad to have a smile on my face this morning and no matter how long it takes me to reach my goal weight, or no matter how many times I try and fail, no matter how many programs I try with or without success, I'm not giving up. Even if one day I reach 500 pounds, I'm not giving up.

I will never stop working towards my goals. I will never stop caring about my health. I will never just give up. Who knows if weight watchers can even help me, but at least I know that the principles of the program won't hurt my body. I'm happy about counting my pointsplus for now.

Plus, it's as cheap as my husband's gamefly membership!!! Score!!!