Wisdom = Balance

Balance. My parents have been using that annoying word for as long as I can remember. They always told me my life was out of balance and that's why I would get so stressed and break down and freak out. I'm sure we've all done it- you say yes to so many things, pile your plate so full and then suddenly you snap like a rubber band being stretched too far. This used to happen to me all the time in high school...and then college...and well, yeah. It still happens.

I have to give Dan credit with helping me achieve balance in my life. He does NOT say yes to everything and he does NOT over-commit. He's a hard worker and very driven but he knows he can't function and be happy when he's stressed. He helps me with this weakness of mine.

As I've thought about my attitude the past few weeks I had some light bulbs go off. I have been out of balance in a few areas of my life. I KNOW I have been over-doing it at the gym and under-doing it in my caloric intake and consequently wound up tired, grumpy, depressed, sensitive, and foggy. I think I got wrapped up in the lie that more is always better- I know better than to do that. I know that what I was doing for a few weeks was not good for me but because I felt like I couldn't quit, I just kept going until finally my body broke down and I started acting like a lunatic.

I completed my bootcamp class which was a huge accomplishment but I wish I would have done it AFTER I completed my medifast program. It wasn't smart to do both. In fact, it wasn't smart for me to enter a WEIGHT LOSS COMPETITION at the rec center. DUH. I totally set myself up for disappointment on that one. Note to self- don't compete in a weight loss competition when you have a metabolic disease!

Well this is a lesson learned, and one I won't forget. It was almost instant that I started feeling more like myself on the first day I didn't work out like a maniac. I stuck to my program 100% over the weekend and feel fine! I don't feel ravenous, I don't feel like eating my own arm, I don't feel like moving away, I don't feel like the whole world annoys me, and I don't feel like staying on the couch the whole day. I think medifast alone is extreme enough, I don't need to throw in extreme exercise. I'll save that for when I'm eating like a normal human being.

I have encountered a few situations that make me feel awkward about being on this "diet" (I hate that word) and thought I'd share some of those for some humor.

1. CHURCH- I have attended a few activities at my church that involved food and my favorite one was trying to eat lasagna without anyone noticing I wasn't eating the noodles...and then passing up the dessert and garlic bread. The ladies at my church are SO sweet and loving and I just told them I can't have wheat or sugar right now because of some thyroid complications. It's just easier to throw out the word "food allergy" than say, well, I'm on this diet where my food is delivered to my door. I technically did discover I have a mild allergy to gluten, grains, sugar, and oils but since I had my hippy doctor clear me of those allergies, it's a little white lie every time I still say, Oh, I can't have wheat, I'm allergic, but it's way easier to say that!

2. CHURCH- Man, I felt so ungrateful at church today. Our teacher passed out this delicious homemade wheat bread and fruit because we were talking about healthy things to put in our bodies and I was like, um, no thank you? I got handed the bounteous basket of goodies first and just passed it back to the people sitting behind me and said I didn't care for any of it. I really wanted to eat those delicious apples and all the bread...but...I refrained.

3. Restaurants- I've been a server and I know how annoying it is when someone gives you this list of special food preparation because you can tell the cooks how to prepare the food but it doesn't always mean it's going to come out the way you requested it to be cooked. I have eaten out a few times and each time I have had to ask for some psycho request about how my food is prepared. I've gotten better at this one, gaining the confidence that I deserve to have my food prepared to my needs and not worrying about inconveniencing anyone.

4. Parties- I have a few parties and showers coming up and it's always awkward to be that lady who either brings her own food or just sits there and sips on lemon water. I hate explaining myself like, "Oh, I just don't like cake." duh- everyone loves cake. Ok, I have 1 friend who legitimately hates cake, but she's probably the only person alive who hates cake. I am the girl who ate her entire WEDDING cake. Yes, I ate the whole wedding cake because Dan forgot to inform me that he doesn't like chocolate cake when we had our wedding cake made. So parties are a drag because they always fall at a strange hour where it's hard for me to improvise with what I can or can't eat and it's not like I can show up with a chicken breast and say, you don't mind if I just BBQ my chicken breast even though you went to all kinds of work to make those awesome chicken salad croissant sandwiches?

5. Nice People- This is a general category. I have a lot of people ask me if I want to have some dinner when I'm there late teaching piano. I always say no thank you, Dan loves to cook for me and I know they just want so badly for me to sit down at the table and enjoy their generosity and sometimes I really want to, but it's just so hard because most of the time I can't eat what they have prepared and don't want to bother so I end up telling little white lies to them, like, "no, I just ate," or "We're going out with friends tonight." I always feel bad but it's just easier to give a solid NO, I have other plans or else they try to talk me into staying.

6. Parties. oh yeah, I already mentioned that one...still a hard one!

Those are a few scenarios that I still have trouble handling but I think I have done really well. I have decided that on my sister's wedding, which is April 9, I am totally letting myself have a free day. That will have been 3 months exactly on my program and that is my reward for staying on my program for one more month. The best advice a friend gave me was to pick a day to be finished with Medifast even if I'm not to my goal weight, and then just be 100% on my program until that day. I have picked July 9 as my final Medifast day. I might change it but right now I'm getting to April 9, and then getting to July 9.

I think going back to the exercise recommendations given my Medifast will really help my body stay balanced and help me stick to my program. I wavered for several days and ate some extra calories but wouldn't say I ever fell off the bandwagon. I am feeling motivated and excited about being able to be 100% on my program and doing more mild forms of exercise until I get more pounds off. Once I am at a more healthy weight and have transitioned into maintenance, I will be able to get back to some intense exercise.

So here's to a week of BALANCE!