Letting go, plus 50% off an amazing program

I bet the last thing anyone reading this wants to think about is how tight their pants get during Christmas. Or is that just me? I've tried really hard to reign in my desire to eat all-things-Christmas and eat out a bunch before we move to Idaho. I've kept things in perspective and splurged a little more than usual but my weight so far is standing still and only fluctuating a couple pounds.

I have definitely dug through a lot of emotional garbage the past several months and little by little I'm starting to untangle the web that plays such a huge part in my weight loss success and lack thereof. Physically, I feel better than I've felt in 5 years. I feel like little by little, my body is healing from years of unintentional abuse of extreme diet and extreme exercise.

I know that what I have left to do involves letting go. I have so much to let go of. I have so much fear of moving on in life. Fear of becoming a parent.  Fear of miscarrying again if I ever get pregnant. Fear of losing a child if I ever have one. Fear of receiving unwanted attention for losing weight. Fear of failing AGAIN. It's so easy for me to stay obese. No pressure to always look "good," no pressure to have children, no pressure to do anything really.

I kind of like it to be honest.

I hate the physical feeling of being obese, but part of me deep down likes going unnoticed (unnoticed in certain ways) Of course I hate being stared at. I hate the looks from women, I hate the judgement from people who know me or my story. I hate being stared at when I'm out with my husband. I hate when people who look at me like I've never gone to the gym.

Something shifted for me and I can't pinpoint when, but now I don't care as much about how OTHER people feel about my obesity and somehow it feels like it doesn't really have very much power over me. I don't hate my body anymore. I don't criticize my body very much. I don't beat myself up anymore.

I don't LOVE the physical feeling of being obese, but at least I'm working past the self-hatred which is a milestone.

I know that bring healthy doesn't mean being thin. Healthy can come in a variety of shapes and sizes. I still crave feeling STRONG. HEALTHY. VIBRANT. ENERGIZED. I don't always feel that carrying around 80 excess pounds.

I am looking forward to the next chapter in my life in Idaho. As much as I will miss the people and the relationships, I can't get out of Utah fast enough. I'm looking forward to a fresh start. I'm looking forward to achieving and receiving all my goals, dreams, and desires. I am looking forward to letting go. Perhaps others have an easier time letting go, but for me it is the hardest thing to do.

As part of my "letting go" and moving on, I'm going to participate in a 6 week holistic weight loss program. Remember when I was raving about my friend Tamarah who is a Simply Healed practitioner? She is one of the founders of the good life coalition. Right now, she has offered me and any of my friends 50% off this holistic health program.

If you are interested, please visit her Website. If you enter the code FRIEND2013 you can save 50%. The coupon code is good until January 1st.

I am so excited about the emotional component of this program. By now, I understand what it takes to lose weight, but I am constantly hitting roadblocks and I know they are emotional. I am excited for something new.