I've gone to the dark side, and don't try to stop me

I'm still plugging along. Thank you all again for your comments and encouragement. I don't really hold a lot back on this blog and so people who read this blog get a pretty deep look into my struggles. With that said it's nice to feel safe and secure and expressing myself here. I'm very glad no one has left a nasty comment like, "Come on, you're such a baby."

I had a very eye opening experience this week that cannot really be put into words. I am into "hippy medicine" and since I feel I have exhausted traditional Western medicine, I've been waiting to find something that felt right to me that wasn't the regular old blood work kind of stuff.

I am well aware that most people don't buy into "energy" work and muscle testing, but I'm a believer. I've had life changing experiences with a few different types of these methods of healing including but not limited to Guided Self Healing and Reiki. Both of these methods of healing were powerful and life changing. There could be 50 posts about each of these methods and what I experienced with each of them, but that's for another time. Maybe.

I believe that the two people who came into my life who introduced me to GSH and Reiki did not come into my life by accident. I recently had some more people come into my life through doTERRA essential oils and I am so grateful for these people!

I have been exploring the emotional root of my issues with weight and my health since about October. I've been reading a book off and on called "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die." I've had many people recommend this book to me over the years and I've seen it in Deseret Book a few times but I just never bought a copy.

It was hard to say no to the book when the author's daughter literally put a copy in my hand and told me I needed to read it. (Thanks doTERRA!) Although I don't subscribe 100% to the ideas and research methods of this book, I believe the foundation of it. I believe that our emotions and feelings are powerful forces in our lives and the way we talk to ourselves and the beliefs we have about ourselves can literally hold us back from achieving our dreams and even lead to debilitating illnesses and chronic mood disorders.

Through my experiences with doTERRa, I have met a friend who I believe has something very wonderful to offer me. I intuitively know that this is the kind of thing I've been searching for. I've been searching for a different approach, a different opinion, and a different way to achieve wellness and I think that my desire to find that has led me to this friend.

I've only had one session with her, but in that session, I feel like one million lightbulbs went off. I felt like my mind opened up to brand new possibilities. I also feel like I got an inside view into my body and what has been going on for years.

I have felt deep down that some things are not right physically but for whatever reason those things are not coming through in my bloodwork. Funny thing is that out of ALL of the healers I have seen, they have all identified most of these issues. I figure if 6 or 7 people are coming up with the exact same issues then there is is truth in what they all say.

I think I run the risk of too many people thinking I'm crazy, so I'll divulge my experiences little by little here if at all. This is what I know for sure. My endocrine system has been a complete mess for years. I know that things have not been working properly. I know my hormones have been out of whack for a long time and my session confirmed all of this, but in a more specific way than my endocrinologist was ever able to.

I also believe that the majority of my weight issues are not related to food and exercises. I have always questioned that belief. I always wanted it to be connected to diet and exercise because there was a time that my weight WAS indeed related to diet and exercise.

I no longer believe that my weight issues are directly related to my current eating and exercise habits. I know that I am taking care of my body. I know that I am eating and exercising in a way that promotes weight loss, but I have been unable to do so because of physical and emotional barriers.

I am eliminating these barriers bit by bit and one day I know that my body will adjust to its proper weight. I know I will get there. I know it will be a journey but for the first time in many years I have hope that I don't have to spend the rest of my life trapped in a body that doesn't feel like it's even my own.