the best intentions

AH! Another day missed! Oh boy. All I can attribute that too is pure exhaustion. I am giving myself some love and acceptance though because I am under a huge amount of pressure. I am excited to announce that I passed my recital preview and will be giving my recital next Saturday. The following week I have a final, a research paper due, and my oral defense (technically called an oral exam) where my committee interviews me about anything they'd like. I am starting to really see the light at the end of my tunnel.

During this crazy week of living in my car, I ate some fast food. I immediately felt the awful effects of eating out. I am really trying to recognize how food makes me feel, not just how it tastes. I noticed when I ate some chicken nuggets I really started feeling bloated and icky on the inside. Somehow though, I managed to eat them all which is really strange to me. I had the light bulbs go off- WHY DO I EAT THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE CRAP???? The same thing happened on Tuesday. My lunch plans were dashed by moldy cheese so I ate out AGAIN and felt sick. I started getting a headache almost immediately. I think sometimes I eat bad food because I am confused about what really tastes good. Once you start eating processed food you start to get hooked on certain flavors and I'm convinced that MSG has addictive qualities. I can't back this up with science but I'm sure it's out there. Why else would be people go back for more? So my question for today is why do you eat out? How does it make you FEEL? Why is eating out so much more "convenient" "tasty" "fast" "easy" "insert your reason" than just making your own food when you know you're going to be out. I know that eating out can mean a lot of things- but I'm not talking about a delicious fancy restaurant- I'm talking about the crap that comes through the drive up window in a brown bag 3 minutes after you order it. I rarely ate out when I lived in Idaho and since moving to Utah I seriously eat in ways I never ever dreamed I would, it's kinda yucky! I usually end up eating out on Mondays and or Tuesdays when I'm living out of my car the most. So this week I'm paying attention to how food makes me feel on the inside. I just ate a homemade bagel and I feel full and satisfied but a little on the light headed side. I also ate an amazing 12 grain home made hot cereal early this morning and didn't feel bloated, headachy, or sick- I just felt good. I know when I eat certain foods I feel like my body is working properly. I'm trying to remember all those foods from my past- Here's a little list I've come up with. I actually eat quite a few of these still!

1. Spinach
2. Beans
3. Apples
4. Natural peanut butter
5. Ezekial bread
6. rice noodles
7. lots of vegetables
8. Salmon
9. green peppers
10. hummus
11. plain yogurt
12. quinoa
13. soy milk

Well here's to another day of teaching and being busy. I don't know where my gym habits are- I have only exercised ONCE this week. One thing at a time. I just have to prioritize and give myself lots of unconditional love right now.