And So The Journey Begins

This blog is for me. This blog is a place for me to document my journey. This is a place for me to keep track of my efforts, successes, mistakes, milestones, and progress until I reach my goal. I have been an emotional eater. A healthy eater. An obnoxious, over-the-top health nut. A "normal" eater. A points counter. A calorie counter. An exercise enthusiast. A hiker. A biker. A runner. A dancer. A chef. A hippy. An overeater. A baker. You name it, I've probably done it. I love food. I love nature. I love improving myself. As I completed my undergrad, I successfully lost 60 pounds but over the last 4 years since starting graduate school and moving further away from home I have gained every single one of those pounds back. I swore I would never do this. I swore I wouldn't be that person. I blame a lot of things on this process- environment, stress, being surrounded by restaurants, having more overweight friends (who I love just as much as my skinny friends!) lack of exercise, medication, hormones, health problems, living in France, depression, genetics, oh the list goes on. Ultimately my health has taken me for a roller coaster ride and I'd like to get off that roller coaster and find answers about what is going on internally and what I have control over and what I don't. I know many women have been part of this journey and many have felt frustration, sadness, depression, guilt, and shame about their bodies. I too have felt these emotions and can't say I've conquered these feelings, but I am taking it one step at a time. This challenge is for me, and was my own idea. I have a loving supportive husband who wants me to do whatever I need to be happy. I am the queen of starting and then never finishing things and as I give myself this overwhelming challenge I wonder how it will go. The challenge is to journal everyday. Yes. 365 entries. These entries will include how I feel, recipes, changes in my health, discoveries about my body, what I ate, what I did for activity, and the results of personal introspection about my relationship with food, my body, and exercise. I will also be documenting projects that Dan's mom has given me from a course she has taken about intuitive eating and learning to listen to your body. She told me she's done the program twice and it wasn't until she did it the second or third time that the light bulbs went off. She is a huge source of support and inspiration to me and think she is on to some great discoveries. Please feel free to encourage me, cheer me on, give me tough love, and give me suggestions, and share your own discoveries. I love learning from others.

The title of the blog comes from my obsession with spandex unitards as a kids. My parents have a video of me when I was 5 years old and I'm opening up my Christmas presents and I say, "I hope I get a unitard," and I couldn't say my "R's" so it sounds more like "unitahd." I've never been a skinny twig but my childhood best friend, Jennifer, had the COOLEST unitard collection because she took gymnastics and I always wanted a unitard. This love of spandex continued into elementary school and one time I bought a bright blue one at a garage sale and would wear it to school under my shorts against the wishes of my mom who probably knew it wasn't the BEST choice of fashionable outerwear. I took dance lessons from the time I was 5 all through middle school and then continued again in college. I ALWAYS wanted to wear leotards and unitards as a child but as I got older and my little belly became a bigger belly, I resorted to oversized t-shirts and shorts to hide my growing figure. Those full length mirrors aren't forgiving to a young girl who hit puberty about 4 years earlier than everyone else in the class! In college, I took a lot of weight off and felt pretty awesome in my spandex, but now I still covet those who can pull it off without getting double takes, like the bad kind of double takes. So in honor of achieving a spandex ready figure and ultimately finding peace with my body and regaining my health, the journey begins. One day at a time. So here it goes.

Food Journal.

As I looked into my loving husband's eyes last night, I told him these new changes given to me by my doctor were overwhelming. She told me to eat 1200 calories and exercise 2 hours a day until my weight came off. Yeah, that's extreme, but I'm only eating between 1300-1500 right now so I feel like it's within reason for me and my body and my situation right now. I told him I wanted to make peace with a few of my favorite foods that most certainly contributed to my weight gain, but also bring me great pleasure. Too much pleasure. I was kind of embarrassed to tell him this little plan, but he told me he would totally do the same thing if he was about to make some changes in his life like this, so I felt better about my decision to blow it hard core for a couple days. I'm not sure when these days will end but I'm thinking that I'll curb this free-for-all in the next few days. So if you choose to proceed to the food journal, just know that I am 100% aware that these foods are not conducive to weight loss, but this is me doing the classic "feast before famine" that every dieter does. It's awesome.

Breakfast- Apple
Lunch- Coney's cheeseburger with grilled onion, french fries, and fry sauce. Dan also made me a custard thing with Reese's peanut butter cups but honestly I couldn't stomach more than a few bites.
Snack 2 DELICIOUS chocolate chip cookies and milk
Dinner This is still TBA bc it's only 4:57...and since I'm still stuffed from lunch and cookies dinner might not be happening.

Exercise
I kicked some major booty at step class today. This class combines high intensity step aerobics with plyometrics and strength training that will leave even the most fit person gasping for air and begging for mercy. Those steps have got to be 8 inches off the ground, maybe more. I kept my step on the highest level until he very end when I had to lower it in order to finish the class.

I will go for a walk jog tonight for another hour even though my legs are tired.

I also started on synthroid yesterday and take 75mcg each day. I feel really tired lately and have a hard time staying energized throughout my day but I am hoping in the next few months these changes in addition to thyroid medication will help in this department. I'm going to try my friend Tricia's spinach smoothie delight today because she said it really energizes her. I'll post a recipe once I perfect it but it's basically as much spinach as you can fit in your blender, a couple cups of water, some frozen strawberries, and a few shakes of stevia. I guess having a few servings of vegetables will be good for me, right?