Conquering my fear of running

Thank you all for the nice comments about my last few posts. I am so blessed to have the kind of friends I have. You are all exactly right, I need to believe all the positive things people have said to me because I can promise you, I have heard more positive things in my life than negative. Giant hugs and thanks you's to all of you who continue to cheer me on, it means a great deal to me. 

Once upon a time I lived in Jackson Hole. I brought a little mini runner's world magazine and there was a woman on the cover in shorts and a sports bra and she was stretching her quads. Without sounding too weird, I started dreaming of having a body like hers. I wanted long lean muscles and tight abs.

I had always secretly been jealous of the physique of athletes but something really clicked that summer. I was bound and determined to LOOK fit. I had already dropped a couple sizes since starting college and I wasn't really concerned at all with how much I weighed. I just wanted to LOOK fit. 

I have always loved hiking but that summer I got to hike a whole lot more than the average person. I hiked on average 20 miles a week and most of the hikes had over 4,000 feet of elevation gain. That's like hiking Table Rock once a week. 

I also started jogging on this path. It was secluded, quiet, gorgeous, and safe. I would time myself. I would jog for 15-20 minutes and then try to run back to where I started either faster or in the same amount of time. (it really never became "RUNNING"...always slow enough to be a jog!)

I didn't do this everyday but I did it enough that when I got back to Pocatello I could go trail running up City Creek and not feel like I was going to die. I set a goal that I wanted to be able to run all of City Creek without stopping. I eventually accomplished that goal as well and even started doing that regularly with a friend.

This friend and I would get up and run City Creek before school in the mornings.
 I accomplished another psycho dream of running in a sports bra without being embarrassed. (See what the media does to people, it makes them think you have "arrived" at fitness if you can workout in a sports bra...tisk tisk) I still remember the first time I took my shirt off as we started running downhill through the brisk November air and I felt so alive and free. I just wanted to scream and run like a giddy 5 year old. It was awesome. 

My reality is much different than my life of living on Phelps Lake taking care of Lawrence Rockefeller's private ranch. No one cooks for me and I am not surrounded by people who just love to go hike and run. I also have a few more sizes to drop before running in a sports bra without being embarrassed. hehehe.

I have some bigger obstacles to deal with than I did back then but I am conquering my fear of running again.

I have always been intimidated to run. Even when I could run 4-6 miles I was afraid of doing it. It is hard, but it's something I've always wanted to be good at. 

I've set a little goal for myself. There is a gas station exactly 1 mile away. I have decided to start running to that gas station and back everyday until there is too much snow on the sidewalk to do it safely. I figure this can't take any more than 30 minutes of my time every day even if I walk some of it. 

Since I'm working on not living in fear and not living in the past I'm going to start running without being afraid of not being able to do it. Not being afraid of being made fun of by drivers who pass me on the road. Not being afraid of anything! I can do this. The only way I can get back to being able to be strong and fit is to DO IT. Do it until I'm there. Do things that will make me stronger. 

Here I go. 

"Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today."