I must like punishing myself

Oh man. Today was kind of a day. I would like to publicly announce that I love going out to eat with people. This is one of my favorite things to do and got to do it 3 times today. The only problem is that with 3 out to eats I had to go to the gym for Zumba tonight and it was so boring. More on that later.

So I did have a first today. I usually go to Mexican food with girl friends because Dan won't eat Mexican. Well I love Mexican food and I love the chips and salsa and I think that of all restaurant foods Mexican is the most dangerous for me. Dan can eat massive amounts of pasta and I can eat massive amounts of chips, salsa, beans, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, etc. Controlling myself at a Mexican restaurant felt impossible until today. Did I still eat past the point of comfort? Yes. But did I stop long before I normally would? Yes.  I had a few chips before my meal and then a few after. We didn't even go through one basket!!! I usually eat at least an entire basket by myself before, during, and after my meal. I didn't finish my lunch special and took it home in a box. Yay for restraint, but boo for overeating just a little. Practice.

So the next out to eat was not as bad. I ordered a wedge salad which was loaded with blue cheese dressing which really has nothing good to brag about but I did eat a salad instead of a burger and fries. If I hadn't gone to Mexican I probably would have done the burger thing but since I had already eaten a heavy lunch I opted for the light small wedge salad and I loved every bite. Wedges are the BEST.

So the 3rd out to eat was a big fat gross mistake. I went to visit Dan with the intention of not eating ANYTHING for Coney's. That place is kind of becoming the death trap for me. I go in there and suddenly I'm being bombarded with FREE FOOD. Who can say no to free food? Well I'm just going to have to learn how because Coney's might be one of the sore spots weighing me down in life...literally. Well one thing led to another with Dan in the back room and next thing you know we've eaten a peanut butter burst Sunday and chocolate and key lime pie frozen custard. It must have totaled at least 600 calories. It was soo good though.

Well for exercise I ran for 30 minutes this morning and then went to Zumba so I definitely met my exercise quota for the day! It felt good to run. I'm getting stronger and faster which is an incredible feeling. Zumba was so boring. I have to give high fives to the instructor though- it wasn't really her fault. The class was full of older overweight ladies there for the first time so the whole routine was dumbed down just a bit and so I didn't feel like I got the same intense workout I usually do. Oh well, at least I went and sweated!

Today makes 30 days I have journaled. I am really proud of myself. I have started to see patterns in my life and in my eating and had a lot of emotional stuff surface. Figuring out everything I need to will probably take years of practice and discipline. I am happy with becoming aware of my weaknesses. I know that my weaknesses will be made strong through my Savior, Jesus Christ. With Him, ALL things are possible. He's really helping me to see clearly where I struggle. I know I will find the solution with time and patience with myself. I think once I'm finished with school I'm going to do a good old fashioned cleanse just to give my body a chance to get rid of things it doesn't have time to get rid of when I'm eating regularly. I'm also going to look into having some energy work done if I can find someone with training and philosophies I agree with. I know that a lot of my emotional baggage is not a reflection about how I feel right now in this stage of life, but it's a reflection of how I've felt in the past and how much I've carried with me over the years. I need to get rid of this baggage or I'll never move forward. Good night!