I know I said no more diets.

I know I said no more diets, but that was SO 2011.

I have loved and hated not following a structured eating plan. Nothing scream's "I'm having a great time!" quite like shoving your face full of whatever the heck you want for a few months!

In all seriousness it has been nice to take the pressure off of myself the past few months. It's been 3 months and 2 days since I had my miscarriage and boy I'm ready for this rollercoaster to stop already. I don't think I could have handled a diet during the past few months. I know that some of my addiction resurfaced and caused all kinds of self-doubt, anger, shame, and disappointment, but I think considering what I've had to deal with it was bound do happen.

I am doing a few things in 2012. The first thing is going to be attending a disordered eating addiction recovery program through my church. The idea has been dancing in my head for awhile now and I have made the decision that I really need this.

I am also taking charge of the the things in my life that cause me immense amounts of stress. Without going into all the gory details of some of the OTHER stressful things in our life we have had to deal with, let's just say that health insurance in Utah is a complete joke. Our decision about when to try for another child is out of our hands in some ways. We don't qualify for medicaid by a few hundred dollars, we don't have 10K to pay in cash, and not a single insurance company in Utah offers maternity coverage for individual health plans.  Oh yeah, and I'm not down with the whole home birth thing, I mean I know Dan is a CNA and could check my vitals and I'm sure the polygamists up the street would be there if I needed help, but I'm just not down with that plan. Dan is not eligible for health insurance through his job, student insurance doesn't cover maternity, and the insurance that we do have doesn't cover maternity.

I have been back and forth on the issue for months now because I ain't getting any younger, but I know that there's a little baby Anderson that wants to come to our family very soon. Unfortunately and fortunately I am forced to look for full-time employment that offers good health insurance so we can at least have the option of having a child.  This has been one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make. I know that looking for a job means that I will have to give up most of my studio. I love what I do but there really is no other option (trust me, I've thought of every option)

These issues and decisions have been weighing on my mind so heavily but I think the solution is to look for a job so we can have health insurance that will cover the cost of having a baby.

The last thing is that since we are down with the baby idea I want to work on my eating disorder, my health, and my weight. This is nothing new but for reals, it's time to at least give this part of my life some attention.

After a lot of research, I have found a diet that has helped my one Hahsimoto's friend lose 60 pounds! She has a very similar story to mine and has battled this disease for 20 years with no success. She started following the Paleo diet and has lost 60 pounds this year. I have had a few other friends get amazing results with this diet and so I'm diving in. This is not a rash decision for me. I have given it a lot of thought for several weeks because I didn't think I would ever do another diet, but it is supposed to do wonders for people with autoimmune diseases so I figure I have nothing to lose.

If you want to learn more about it, just google it and I'm sure you'll find more than enough literature out there. I'm just taking it one month at a time but my goal is to make it for 90 days without stopping. There is room for error on this diet which is fabulous. I have never in my life eliminated dairy or grains or legumes and so I'm excited to see if it can help me. I would be thrilled if this could help me reach a healthy weight so I'm going in head first.

I'm also planning to join a crossfit gym here in a couple weeks so that should be interesting....

Yeah, so I'm back in the blogging world and will be tracking my progress here so thanks again for all your support and cheering me on, it really keeps me going especially when life is so challenging!