Sianara

I've decided to throw in the towel just a little bit. As hard as it is for me to admit this, I think I am trying way too hard for something that just might not happen for me. I'm going to take a break from the scale until I have my body comp tested again. I put on about 2 pounds of muscle this month which is awesome but my body fat didn't change any. I can't get on the scale for awhile, it's just too discouraging. I might have to hide the scale somewhere because for some reason it has become my security blanket.

I'm still going to continue counting all my calories and striving for healthy eating habits and lots of exercise but I can feel that there is something greater at work inside of me. I don't know if it's my hormones or simply stubborn body fat that doesn't want to let go or if I'm just in a huge power struggle with my body.

Another thought I've had is maybe the weight is a manifestation of something psychological for me. Maybe I'm actually keeping myself overweight for some reason I haven't been able to figure out. Maybe I'm actually really scared about having kids. Who knows. I know a lot of obese people keep their weight on for some sort of security blanket, so I'm just putting all options out there.

I think it's time for a break from the stress of obsessing about it everyday. I might write in this blog when I feel like it but I'm taking a vacation until August.