Iron will

I am patiently waiting for my mind, body, and spirit to get together and break through my plateau. I'm not blaming my plateau on anything- in fact I don't even know if my body itself has plateaued, all I know is that I have been in the same 2.5 -3 pound weight range for like 6 weeks. It's really my own fault which is why I need my mind to start cooperating!

However. I did decide to start tracking on myfitnesspal again which I love. I also changed up my diet like I mentioned yesterday. I am impressed so far. I really felt good about my new way of eating yesterday and feel like having a change of tastes and foods is just what I need mentally to continue on this journey.

I am not giving up. Health is a journey, not a start and stop sort of deal. I am also excited to go home to Idaho this weekend and see all my friends from ISU. Initially, I was very scared to see them all. They all saw me go from being very overweight, about where I'm at right now, down to a lean, mean, 150lb girl who rode her bike EVERYWHERE.

I think I pass more judgement on myself than anyone else does. I still feel like a failure sometimes and am ashamed I "let myself get to this point." But then I realize that I'm only human and I've had a lot of things to deal with in my life and on top of that, I have a disease.

With that in mind, I am going to my party with confidence and with a promise to myself to not bring up my weight gain or make any apologies to anyone about it. I think this social network world we live in now helps so people aren't shocked to see me 50 pounds bigger. It's like they've kind of seen me get bigger over time and aren't in shock about it. And honestly, it doesn't matter. They are my friends and they love me no matter what. Plus, I have a freakin hot husband who will be there for me to show off to everyone so that's a big bonus.